Everyone disagrees, everyone fights. That doesn’t mean it should be done in front of children. Leave them out of it, if they can be spared the heart ache, they should be. They deserve to be.

One of the biggest weights you can carry around on your shoulders is knowing how unhappy your parent(s) are. They think it doesn’t affect the children because they’re just kids, or because they’re not directly involved, because they’re not the ones fighting. Oh but it does, it rocks their whole entire world. Parents are the support system, they’re the four walls that are stronger than the cement of the house you live in. How are kids supposed to feel secure, where do they get their strength from,  when the pillars come down? A child that has to be their own strength from a young age can either turn out to be very well-rounded and forgiving, or just as well-rounded, but also resentful and bitter. Amongst a world of other realities.

When the foundation breaks the first pieces to fall through are the smallest ones. I’m not saying the kids should be oblivious to, or ignorant of the reality that is their family life. I’m saying they don’t have to be the collateral damage of the train wreck that is their parents marriage. It’s like being the third sober driver in a crash amongst two drunks, you don’t really have time to hit the brakes when people are crashing into each other a foot away. Not fun.

I don’t think parents ever realize how hard it is for the children when they fight, it never completely registers. That’s why it keeps happening in front of the kids who have absolutely nothing to do with it, but now suddenly they have everything to do with it. Don’t think that they don’t understand, they do, they know exactly what’s going on. It’s not rocket science. Even after the parent’s have decided to let go of the argument and the heat, the kids may still remain shaken from it all. Scared and anxious of when it’ll happen again, they try to prepare themselves for the next blow but it never really makes a difference because it hurts all the same if not more when it happens again.

Stop — and think before you speak, or yell or scream. Whoever you are, parent or not. Don’t hurt people, don’t take away happiness, sometimes it’s really hard to come by.

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