I’ve watched anger unfold
each layer uglier than a previous,
I know the calm before a storm
a haunted lullaby .

Anxiety with a mask of calm,
waiting for waves to crash.

I’ve heard of promises
made to me
made to herself,
Burnt faith
destroyed trust,
Failed reliance.

Dull is the knife of hope
I manage blunt cuts, scrapes,
Even the dullest could cut
when pressed too long,
too hard.

I’ve listened
to orchestras of reason
to choirs of logic,
Fading into muteness
all disintegrating,
with Daddy’s ashes.

Watch selfish emotion,
self retribution engulf,
I’ve forgiven.

I fear time,
I know too well of its
relentless upper hand.

What do I do with trust,
if I cannot in you.

How do I fight my demons,
when my demons rest with you.

I’m afraid I won’t know happiness,
I won’t know ease
till you do,
and you never do.

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