Wanted

Logic I’ve learned is what steals emotion
practicality is a beast
it engulfs the sweetness of what could be
received, delivered
sweetness one wishes to indulge in
it will absorb.

What is wanted is relentless need
what is wanted is to feel
what is wanted is to simply be –

wanted.

Willing

I’m not waiting but I’m willing
I’m not sure but I can be
lets not do anything,
we can lay here we’ll listen to acoustics
I promise you’ll feel better
I swear it will help.
Don’t worry about spilt coffee now, just let it sit
let it get cold
Stop thinking, just don’t.
Don’t plan
time passes as fast as dandelions burn.
Open the window, ignore the pigeon waste
smoke your cigarette
second-hand smoke won’t matter
if I hold yours through it.

1/13/16
1:31 am

Homeostasis

You ever feel like sadness grows and is better? The melancholy of silence trumps noise and temporary happiness.

Once you get used to it –
you are no longer forced into loneliness. Now it’s just what’s normal, and as much as I am afraid of routine, the familiarity of just myself is safer than the unknown disturbing my homeostasis in lonesomeness.

After a while, what most think of as fun or entertaining has no appeal. Falling in love seems arduous and frighteningly boring. Thinking ten years ahead into the future is no longer a riveting mental rollercoaster, but is now more a haunted house of realized, flawed, fantasies.

The transition from night to dawn to morning brings with it sobering thoughts of how deep scars run. Nothing Jack didn’t break, nothing Daniels can’t fix.

Broken homes and broken trust and broken dreams and crushed starts. Love is not what kills, oh no no, rather attachment. Love, so long as you love from afar.